Why Refuse? There are times when saying “yes” is simply not in your best interest.
In the pursuit of trying to be all things to all people, or trying to live up to another person’s expectations, do you ever find yourself saying “Yes” when you wish you had said “No?”
Have you ever found yourself in a situation that called for you to lose your integrity, betray your values, or made you feel pressured to agree? Times like these require that you learn to simply say “no.”
Saying “no” to things which do not matter or lack priority in your life is a valuable strategy for self-preservation. When you rightly refuse, it prevents you from being stretched too thin, overwhelmed, overcommitted, and obligated to responsibilities which do not bring any benefit to you or your family.
Ironically, saying “no” can also help you help another person by not enabling them to become co-dependent. It’s often said, “You should not try to do for another what only she or he can do for herself/himself.”
Ask yourself: When have I agreed to do something I really didn’t want to do because I was more concerned about the other person’s feelings or circumstances, even at the risk of damaging my own?
“Refuse” is not a Bad Word
“There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the one who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy.”
—Jose N. Harris
There is freedom and power in having the courage to refuse. For years, I have heard that once a person reaches the age of fifty, most of their decisions will either be a “Hell yeah!” or a “Hell no!”
When I hit my fifth decade, I found this to be true. I am now more able to see the big picture clearly. I no longer want to sweat the small stuff, waste precious energy, or tolerate unnecessary drama. I simply want to be happy— optimistic and lighthearted!
8 Things Happy People Refuse to Do
- Refuse to participate in gossip.
- Refuse to take on other people’s guilt.
- Refuse to be treated poorly or disrespected.
- Refuse to be used.
- Refuse to tolerate other people’s bad behavior.
- Refuse to live by other people’s opinions.
- Refuse to tolerate injustice or unfairness.
- Refuse to listen to the voice in their heads that says, “I can’t do it” or “I’m not good enough.”
Guard your energy, guard your time, and guard your heart to prevent being overdrawn, overworked, overcommitted, and overwhelmed. Learn how to smile and politely say “No.” Then let it go.
This blog is an excerpt from Susan’s new book, Release the Power of Re3 . . . Review, Redo & Renew for Positive Change & Transformation. To learn more, please visit www.SusanCYoung.com or www.amazon.com/author/susancyoung.
